Gulp

It is done.

The semester is over.

My final paper was a little short, the stack of laundry on my bed is huge, there are dishes in my sink, my floors have not been mopped since who knows when and I have gained almost 10 pounds.

For the last 8 weeks I can say that nothing was getting my 100%.

Not of my attention. Not my effort.

Nothing was getting what it deserved.

Its for that reason that I am not returning next semester to school.

I will return to school but only when my kids are much older for now my dear masters degree I have...

a two year old to potty train

a 5 year old to snuggle

a 9 year old to read with

a husband to laugh with

there are places to go

friendships to build

hikes to go on

books to read

yoga to practice...

6 weeks review- early fall

(One of our 3 hikes this month)

School Schedule - 6 weeks on 1 off.

As I type the kids are cuddled up in their PJs watching TV enjoying this week of leisure. Monday Ryan took the day off and joined in the our week of rest. I LOVE this schedule it is just what I need sizable chunks of time to focus on school and a time when deep cleaning, sorting and approved lazy days are had with out guilt.

(Emmett's hair cut)

Curriculum- Oak meadow
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! Our weeks are running smoothly, the children are happy, I am happy and relaxed during the week! Thank you oak meadow!

(raspberry picking)

Schedule- coop
The coop is going great. My kids love going to "school" once a week. The are thriving and building friendships. Just what this clan needed. Emmett naps at school for 2 hours so I get to sit on the couch and enjoy coffee and chocolates will the girls are in class!

(Millie blood systems science project)

 

Extra curricular- Gymnastics

Summer has begun learning her routines for her first competition in January. This month she has mastered her back hip circle and front walkover. (google it I had to!)

Millie- is totally rocking the handstands and is becoming quiet the little powerhouse on the bars!

Me.

School is going great. I am getting good grades so far and am able to keep up with my course load. I do however spend one day a week at a museum this was unexpected. I knew I would have to go once or twice but every week wow. I also spend hours a week watching Nazi propaganda I realized the other day Millie was watch over my shoulder. Yes I win mom of the year my 5 year old has been exposed to Nazi propaganda.

Fall into school

Well New England you do like to stick to a schedule September 1st and the days are growing shorter the nights are already cooling off.

                                                  (Ryan came home for a visit!)


School Schedule

We are going to try 6 weeks on 1 week off we are going to call that week a big fat reward for sticking to school and hopefully Ryan can take days off during that time or just plan on working shorter hours!

We are doing four days "at home" 1 day coop

Curriculum

We are using Oak Meadow for both girls Summer 4th grade and Millie in 1st (ish thanks Holly for the ish) (math I am struggling with more on that another time)
We have been using this for about 2 weeks now and it is by far the smoothest school has run for the kids and I. *Bonus* A fellow homeschooling friend/ coop member/ neighbor heard that I was using oak meadow and it turns out she is as well!

Schedule

 Each morning the girls start with a journal that I have printed out ideas for and they run with. They write and doodle and color to the themes set up by month! They love it!!   The rest of the subjects are loosely scheduled by block.

Thursday mornings I run a "kindergarten" type time with Millie and Emmett we read fairy tales sing songs and nursery rhymes. We also are reading aloud winne the pooh during that time! Summer helps as an assistant teacher reading aloud teaching them about the itsy bitsy spider etc. My hope here is to make an appreciation for classical children literature and such for the beginning. Using winne the pooh, Peter rabbit  and mother goose.

We also have 2 hours twice a week where Summer works on her big projects. Her curriculum is full of awesome projects and I really wanted her to have time to complete them as in depth as she wants!

Coop -Which is kind of like a once a week school for homeschoolers for those who do not know.

               Summer is taking four classes, Latin, Shakespeare, whole foods cooking, and chain reaction science.

               Millie is taking Arts and Crafts, ABC 123, stories with hands on fun, fun with horses.

                I am teaching stories with hands on fun!!

Extra curricular-

      Summer
              gymnastic team practicing 2x a week for 3 hours.
              Running once a week
     Millie
             Gymnastics 2 hours a week
             rock climbing once a week

ME

       I have already started school at the Harvard extension school in hopes of getting my masters in Museum Studies. My classes this semester are

            Nazi Cinema: The Art of Politics and Illusion
            Introduction to Museum Studies

My hope is to check back on "school" at our first 6 week break!!


    

Millie at 5

Millie at 5

One whole hand...

Millie has grown a lot in the past year!

Millie is still extra loving.

Never gets enough snuggles.

Is still as quirky as ever!

Loves gymnastics and rock climbing

Loves cupcakes and sprinkles.

She loves math and numbers but could care less for reading.

Still is trying to grow her hair like Rapunzel's (she has never had a hair cut only trims)

Still loves the side pony!

Will do puzzles for hours on end.

Millie,

I love listening to you talk about the 10 daughters you want and how you are going to be a doctor. How you will eat cupcakes after every meal. Just listening to you plan your life gets me excited because I can see it too! You have such passion for people (and sweets) both your daddy and I can see you doing whatever you put your little quirky mind to weather its climbing Everest or being a doctor or owning a bakery. You are so sweet yet so fierce, grow into that make it yours!




I am excited to be along for the ride!

Love you times a gazillion,

Mom

Swimming (two posts in one day!!)

Swimming holds a special place in my heart.

 

 

 

Summer had an awesome season placing in several events and learning strokes she did not even know. She started the year finishing 1 race 25 meter back and by the final meet competed in the medley relay swimming butterfly, the 25 meter freestyle and finally the 50 meter IM. She mastered the flip turn and is doing great on her dives!

Emmett at 2

My baby or rather toddler now. How quickly he grew. I still remember the feeling of him kicking in my belly.

Emmett is 2

He is loud and dirty.

He love cars and sports.

He loves to read and sing.

His vocabulary is increasing daily.

He is the most emotional of my children and is very quick to switch emotions.

He is huge 36 inches over 32 pounds and size 8 1/2 feet.

When he gets older he wants to "fly" a plane like Daddy and Uncle Everett and Grandpa.

He is very concerned with cause and effect. Always asking Ryan if his plane is going to fall.

He wakes up slowly and can be heard talking to himself in bed long before he gets up.

He loves to laugh, just like his dad,

he blames his toots on other people just to be funny.

He likes to tell other people who toot they smell like a cow.

Emmett

 The days are never dull with you around. You laugh like crazy. You cry like crazy. You scream like crazy. You are unruly and dirty. I would not want you any other way. I can already see the man you will become a passionate one. It will take you to great places! I hope you are willing to show the emotion I know runs deeply in you. That no one including myself tells you not to feel! That you are free to be you!!

Love you forever, like you for always

Mom

Millies new hobby

Just this year Millie started to climb everything. When asked what she wants to do her reply is usually "climb". We started taking her on hikes where she could free climb on rocks. Then she asked for bigger rock walls then the kids area in our local gym offered. The base here has a wall so Millie and Ryan took a class and got certified now we can take her to the wall when ever she wants!!

Summer at 9

Summer at 9

Do I say this every year but I can not believe she is 9. Her last year in single digits.

Summer started gymnastics this year and is loving the thrill of seeing how she can push herself.

She loves reading, it is not rare for her to slip off somewhere and finish a whole book front to back!

She loves art, history, horses and books.

She is starting to get a real sense of humor!

She needs words of affirmation and strives for acceptance from others.

This year she read and fell in love with Anne of green gables, after reading it we watched the movie together. This is when my favorite memory of the year happened. I began crying after Matthew died and looked over and Summers tears were pouring down her face . We clung to one another sharing this emotion and for the first time I felt a deeeep friendship with her. I was not just her mother and she was not just my daughter but was truly my "bosom friend".

Dear Summer

    I know times will be rough once in awhile but I mean it when I say that I can not wait to share many more moments like the one above! Your drive inspires me, your heart is so big. I love watching the passion you do life with! My free spirited child I hope you never lose your desire to be free, to run, swim, ride, cry and laugh as hard as you can.

Forever your mommy and best friend!

Something people may not understand about homeschooling....

I have noticed that many people think that the decision to homeschool is the first and only step. You then casually select a box that delivers all your supplies and it immediately starts teaching your kids. You sit down at the table for select periods of time 5 days a week and drudge through a public school style textbook. Guess what I tried that. It didn't work for us. 

The truth is EVERY part of my week is intentional and planned. I don't just by chance take the kids to the park everyday it is purposely thought out. Outside play is just as important for our school day as reading or math. Therefore I purposefully make sure it happens everyday. 

My grocery list scribbled in cursive is actually planned. Summer reads me the list as we walk through the store and she needs the practice reading cursive. 

Every activity is weighed by cost and purpose. We can not do everything although I would love to. I would love for the kids to have piano lessons, right now is not the time so we work with the recorder. ( I lovingly played the alto for five years so I can actually teach it easily.) not just a random decision but a thought out one that I believe is best for our family.

I have read each book in our home library. (Besides a collection of animal ark that is a family heirloom of sorts) before placing books in the library I give them great thought I do not have to like them but I do have to approve of them. That way when I say go grab a book to read I know that their choices are ones I would approve of. 

I have found if I do these things and many others when we actually sit down to do school the kids are prepared for the work. Nothing surprises them or overwhelms them because I have casually introduced the topics in our daily lives. Adjectives are easily identified in the schoolwork after spending the previous week playing mad lips and 20 questions. Division no problem after giving them the responsibility of dividing the goldfish evenly at snack ( mommy always eats the remainder even in written out problems the kids remember this) 

The " school" days have become so much easier now that I spend just as much time planning our actual daily life as I did our school lessons.

Blessings!!

Many weeks ago after a long lonely day we meet Ryan for dinner at a near by restaurant.(if you count it up I am going on 6 months without any friends. So when I say lonely I mean lonely!) It was a sushi restaurant and I had thrown caution to the wind and order a sushi boat just for myself. I had wine the kids had drinks it was going to be our eating out budget for 2 weeks but I needed it that day. Ryan showed up running late from work and a tear ran down my cheek as he sat down, relief of having him home. This was by far the lowest day I had in many months.

Anyways, when we asked for the check the waitress informed us a husband and wife across the restaurant had bought our dinner. I lost it, I walked to the ladies table grabbed her hand a burst into tears I left promptly but Ryan stayed to actually thank them and said that the wife burst into tears as she watched me hurry head hung down in shame because I was sobbing by then.

Fast forward a few weeks I am doing much better and today for the first time since moving here Ryan had an hour to meet for lunch. Ryan however is stressed like I have never seen him before, he is taking over 2 "programs" soon much earlier than expected and before he actually gets his training. But Lunch today was comical and Ryan laughed for the first time in weeks when Millie salsa danced for the entire restaurant and then again when summer dropped all the insides of her taco into his hat! This lunch was much different than the serious dinner from the weeks before but once again when we asked for our check we were informed that the gentleman who came in at the same time as us had taken care of our meal.

Twice in a month......

Is it not amazing how God can use other people to speak to us! God was using random acts of kindness to reach out to us, our very own rainbow after the flood, we may be lonely but we are NOT alone!

Moving, bikes and snakes

Some moves come easier than others. I wish I knew the magic formula that leads to a smooth entry into my new surroundings. I think part of it is not wanting to let go off things from the previous place. Like my gym or workout schedule, rythym of our weeks and weekends. I am taking steps to make this place it's own for me.

Last night was my first bike ride. For now I am using Ryan's bike and I decided to give trail riding a hand. Fortunately I didn't realize the size of the hill in between me and the beginners trail I was trying or I would have stayed home ;) by the time I reached the trail I was pretty tired but I still did it!

Something I was never prepared for happened..... I ran over a stinking snake. It did a creepy slither in pain thing as my wheel hit it. I was screaming and peddling sure the wheels were going to send this seriously angry snake at my head. No such event happened but in my mind it was a very real possibility.

1.6 miles was my first ride. I spent the evening nursing muscle I am sure have never been used before but yeah for steps in the right direction!

Childhood

"Childhood is unique, a once-in-a-lifetime chance to let life unfold slowly" http://simplehomeschool.net

What a beautifully amazing and scary thought for me this morning, letting all it means sink in!

Holocaust Survivor Edgar Krasa

Yesterday I left my mommy clothes on the hanger I pieced together what I hoped was a presentable "work" outfit and in heels made my way into a conference room at Hanscom. I sat in the back so I could duck out a few minutes early so Ryan could get to a meeting.

Then he walked in reckless wiry white hair, suit and slacks covering his aging body.

I immediately feel in love, he shared his general experience with us as a Jewish Holocaust survivor his humor intermixed with a devastating  story. He joked about the troubles in memory of the "golden years" made light of his time in the ghetto and even spoke of the woes of Auschwitz.

I cried like a baby as did many others in the room when he showed a picture of his identification tattoo from Auschwitz next to his grandsons license plate, his grandson had chosen his grandfathers  identification number as his first license plate number.

I sobbed openly as he turned to his son and asked if he was a good fatherly figure, as he still all these years later questioned why 2 teenage boys took to him in the cattle car on the way to Auschwitz.

He openly questioned the choices made by others that either saved their lives or condemned them to be victims of mass murder. He still all these years later trying to process the details of the horrific experience.

It is for people like Mr. Krasa that I passionately pursue my education of these horrible events. I have always questioned my choice but not today. Today I understood these survivors are aging they need their voices to be heard in the future because they speak out against hate and genocide. I want to listen until I have heard each voice then when the time is right carry on the stories for them.

Anniversary thoughts

I wanted to do a Tennessee post but all i learned about myself there is overwhelming so I'll just mention a few things that pop up as I go through life here.

I was not a very good wife. It is something I have always struggled with, not wanting to give to much so if he took his love away I would hurt less.

I would choose the restaurant everytime...

I would always take the best looking Cinnamon roll for myself....

okay you get my drift.... (I also know that I was a good wife in other ways)

But it pressed on my heart that Ryan has given alot in our relationship and it was not fair for me to hold on to an escape plan. Especially when I do not want to escape.

I have been trying to be more mindful, doing things that are not expected of me.

I have been making lunch and breakfast for him to take to work. He uses his lunch to workout when he actually gets a lunch so he was going without lunch.

Funny how that small act makes me feel better every morning. I hope that I keep my heart open to more small ways to "love him more" in the future.


so TN LESSON #1 Be a less selfish wife

home sweet home

I have internet again!!!! We are here and settling in. My House is slowly being pieced together.
I finally am beginning to feel normal again!
I joined a gym called kokfit club.
The girls are enrolled in gymnastics. Millie with 4 year olds like herself. Summer with other homeschoolers of all ages.
Summer will start softball this spring and Millie will be conquering a swim class.
Here are some pics of downstairs. Think one long room divided at about 1/3 of the way by a fire place. The exterior wall is 90% sliding glass doors. (no pics of upstairs it looks BAD;)

We are slowly easing back into school
 Getting in a routine.
Completely changed our schedule to see Ryan, so the kids bed time went from 730 to 9 and we now sleep till 7 instead of 430 or 5. It has done wonders for my insomnia we still get ready for bed at 730 but we light a fire and watch a movie cuddling a just being together!! I thought i was giving up my quiet time but really everyone else is just joining me and it works!!

smiles

I woke up smiling this morning, 5 straight hours of sleep!!! I really feel so refreshed and ready for a good day!!


Here is whats going on

Ryan starts work today! PT this morning and then into the office he goes and to make it better he now has an office to go into!

He is starting to "unblue" a little bit. He came out of OTS pretty tightly wound. I am pretty sure the day after he graduated he stood me at attention and scolded me for forgetting the base map. As you can imagine that did not go over well with me. No shoes were thrown but it was pretty close.

We signed our lease yesterday and can move in tomorrow. Our household good won't get here until the 5th so a there maybe a few rough days in there but I am excited to be in my own space again. We looked throughout the house again yesterday and I am so much more excited. I will enjoy living there!

We learned about some of our neighbors, the owners introduced them like this "That's the Japanese couple with babysitting age kids, that's the Chinese/ Swedish couple, watch out for the old Russian couple and the couple from India are very nice.  Fun right??

Saturday we are going in to sign up for the area CSA which after joining pass out weekly provisions of local freshly harvested produce as well as eggs. I can not have a garden here and to be honest i am kind of okay with that (someone else can worry about mutant squirrels carrying away whole tomato bushes) but i am hoping to volunteer a couple times a month at the farm we will see!!

We are always lost here! Much to Ryan, the know it all I never get lost good drivers dismay, really the number of uturns we do a day is comical at least 10. ( Don't worry I take this time to ask him where his stupid map is now 10 times a day)

Once we get settled and the desktop set up I will be able to post pictures again so I'll try and keep the random wordy post to a minimum.

just

wrote a long post twice deleted it twice because it was horrible twice.... soo just

Please pray for me,  I am struggling still with insomnia, fear and panic attacks.

Preparing

We have begun preparing........

For our first winter storm... which we aren't exactly sure what to do living in a hotel sooo we are heading to the local indoor farmers market to pick up local wine and fresh chicken pot pies. fresh bread and cheese.

To meet the owners of the townhouse... apparently they are hesitant about  us as tenants. Mostly due to our usage of Terminx in Florida. Apparently up here its only used if you have a bug problem not as a preventive. I have tried to explain that they also caught lizards killed fire ants and large flying beetles but that seemed to hurt my cause. maybe one day they will move to Florida and will understand why the terminx man in Florida lives in the nicest house in the nicest neighborhood, they make mad money!!!

for real life here!!!! Emailed yesterday about riding lessons for the girls! found an amazing Thai place right down the street next to the Indian Bistro (i haven't lived near good Thai food in 2 years). And found an indoor play place/gym for kids it has a yearly memberships, big kid area and toddler area and is less than a mile from the house the kids LOVED it Ryan and I LOVED it!!!

And just a side note even after many calls and emails when we arrived they still did not know we were coming and are trying to find a place for Ryan. The still do not know where he will work but assured him it would be in the acquisitions career field. ;)

New England ramblings

So far we love it here we have been spending our time exploring the area around where we will live.

• Yesterday we went like 3 miles over to the town Concord and drove through the Historic downtown. I can not wait to explore it!

(add several inches of snow to this picture)

• On the way from base to the townhouse we pass the spot of Paul Reveres capture as well as Waldens Pond. I am pretty sure I did a back flip when I saw both of those!
• Much to Ryans dismay people here have a hard time understanding him specifically numbers. Giving his phone number to people has become comical. He also struggles with some of the thicker accents but loves the fact that the word "ballbuster" seems to be used frequently among the men. "I hate to be a ballbuster but can you move your caaar."
• I LOVE full service gas stations. Really winter cold wind and I do not have to get out of my car to get gas I'll pay WHATEVER you ask!
• Ryan found the local feed store with loud men his age, working and laughing in the snow and it really reminded him of his home in Minnesota. If i lose him I know he won't be at the bar or club but down at the local feed store having a cup of coffee with the guys!
• Coffee is an all day drink here and is usually done right!!!! I think I am going to need to switch to decaf after 2pm though!

Sorry I do not have something more coherent but without a place this is actually how our days go just a rambling of events with no schedule.

Boston

Star A is Downtown Boston Star B is the house we have applied for the base is just east of Concord.

The town is Acton and we choose the house for the town. We love the area it houses one of the homeschooling coops we will also be less than a mile from the riding stables for the kids lessons.

The closest stores are about 2 miles away and one of them is a Trader Joes. This looks like  is a small New England town with some pretty awesome perks . Only one fast food joint near by and it is even made to look pretty :) and a dunkin donut (but those are EVERY WHERE) the rest are small cafes and small restaurants !

The other day we tried the one right next to the house we are hoping for and I got Lobster Bisque for lunch!!!!!AMAZING!!!!

You are probably wondering about the house and why I am not raving about it. The truth is the townhouse is just okay. After we move in it will be perfect but in this process we turned down 2 beautiful houses each with 1000 more square feet and top of the line upgrades in the kitchen which I LOVE.

But months ago in TN God pressed upon my heart a number for rent. I even wrote about it in my journal. This number is low, low,low for this area  it is $700 less than our BAH. It also doesn't allow for a home with upgrades or extra square feet or even an extra room. It allows for a townhouse with a 20 minute commute on good days.

Only ONE home opened up under the amount God had pressed upon me and it lead us to a town 20 miles outside of where we were actually looking. When we drove into the town both Ryan and I felt a peace we both loved the commute so beautiful the people are nice (and kind of loud which I love!) Tons of families everywhere even out walking riding bikes in the snow/rain. The home will take some getting use to. Really the bright BLUE toilet and shower in the master bath will take some getting use to.

But God is good and he put me in TN for a specific reason (another post for another day. it is GOOD like live changing good he just waited till the last days to make me aware of it!) God has directed us to this house for a specific reason and it will be GOOD too. I know it.

more rambling about the area and house later

moving the start

It's starting this week.

Tuesday i will pack up the kids and head Montgomery.

Wednesday ill pick up Everett from the airport and explore the area.

Thursday day full of graduation events including a Dining Out (fancy dinner its even on valentines that's fun)

Friday- actual commissioning . This is early in the morning and I have been crazy surprised at how many people are coming I have had Ryan's friends calling me for weeks to get the details.

Friday night drive 6 hours back to tn.

Saturday: Ryan gets to watch the kids basketball game then after we loud up the car and head north.

Sunday: Hopefully get to DC area early visit friends and family.

Monday: Make it to Boston because Ryan has to report in at the base in the morning.

• No we still don't have a house this area is the hardest area we have moved to by far.
• Ryan's orders changed so he is going to a different squadron but we are such newbies that we don't know what that means job wise.
• Everett is going to help us drive from Alabama to Boston. which is a blessing since my night blindness keeps getting worse.
• The girls have been watching the weather channel to see their new home the idea of 3 feet of snow excites them it sends me into a slight panic, that's a lot of shoveling!

proof

This link was just what I needed to reassure myself that Emmett is in fact a normal child and not an evil 2 two legged creature bent on the destruction of this house and my sanity.

(I will note here that the LIST of things he has destroyed just today is rather long all because he can not tell me what he wants so he proceed to do it himself)

anyways fun little article

46-reasons-why-my-three-year-old-might-be-freaking-out

sneak peek