4am

I can not sleep I am so scared excited about our trip... 28 days

10 states

Dollywood
Baltimore
Breaking Dawn
Holly, Melissa
DC

Thanksgiving
Philly (I LOVE PHILLY)
Amish country PA
water park hotel
Holidome
Grandma Jans
Hugs
kiss
snuggles
snow mobiles
snow men
Christmas with the Dotsons
Catch up with the Borgedens
Dinner with Susan and family
Chritmas at the Hankey/Naranjo
Then home for Christmas
and a Prime Rib dinner here with a bestie whose husband is gone!

TWITCH TWITCH TWITCH.................

BRING IT ON!!!!

Emmett 3 months

Actually almost 3 1/2 but whatever...

15 pounds (thats right we make big boys)
smiles laughs coos and reacts to the girls!
cut his first tooth
is the LOUDEST baby I have ever seen.
grunts, yells, toots, growls
rolls over (then gets mad he did)
Loves his jumper.
Goes to the nursery at church and loves it *tear*
Did I mention he is LOUD!
Burps, toots, and breathes heavy... we don't even need a baby monitor to hear him at night
sits up briefly w/o help...
grabs the girls hair!!
is a blanket baby.

DRUMROLL (all you who know Ryan will be surprised)
Is a Mommys boy... thats right it only took three kids for me to get one that actually likes to be held by me ;)

I am getting excited about him being a toddler while girls do get the cooler cloths I have been going crazy looking at the toys for boys. Stuffed tool sets, trains, cars, DINOSAURS... I love dinosaurs!!! OH and overalls hehehehe I think I could put him in overalls everyday till he is 10!
EEEKKKK I can say it only took 3 months for me to get super excited about a boy. (the first 3 months I was too busy learning to dodge pee to get to excited)


   (see the chicken...................Get the chicken..............mom scream at daddy)

Although I do freak out completely if someone mentions him one day growing facial hair. Not a slight freak out but tears and yelling to be quiet. My precious baby boy is going to be a man?

teacher

What does it say about my teaching style when.....

Summer plays schools she is the teacher

with a soviet accent
a ruler in hand
no smiles
marching across the room
saying "no break for you.....work harder"

hummmmm.....

Contentment

Contentment- this is my BIGGEST struggle

Contentment in finances
Contentment in relationships
Contentment in possessions
Contentment in location

The list goes on

My discontentment leads to feelings....

self pity
doubt
fear
anger
jealousy

Which leads to horrible actions....

gossiping
judging
hurtful words
coveting

The cycle itself is repetitious .
Some of these things I struggle with on a daily bases.
Others only occasionally like when the money gets a little low.

Right now I am being bombarded with all these at once.
I hurts to realize that I am not as mature as I thought I was.
That when I least expect it they can take over my thoughts.

I have to step back and think about what I ACTUALLY want out of life.....

Do I want to be the most liked youth leader (ohh yeah its that petty and gets worse)
NO!

The most expensively dressed and flawlessly beautiful woman in my group....
NO!

Do I want the prettiest cleanest house...
NO!

I do want...
Deep meaningful relationships
Healthy happy children
Close relationships with my distant family
A healthy body that allows me to keep up with my family....

I need to refocus....
my life shades have some major smudges on them


I read this today and loved it (funny how these things pop up when you need them the most)
http://reluctantentertainer.com/2011/10/how-to-find-contentment/

Why

Sometimes I wonder why we try.....
(One more negative post only cause it really is funny or will be in 10 years)

Last nights dinner
A rare mid week eating out
Boiled peanuts which millie loves but anyone within 20 feet better watch out cause she will squirt you.
Ryan never gets beer with dinner but it was happy hour, fruit flies attacked him and his beer...
Emmett screamed for no reason for the first time ever right as we got our food....
I tried to get him out of the carseat in the highchair which we never do cause it is dangerous and it fell with him in it luckily I caught him but he was mad.
By the time I calmed him down my food was cold and 3/4 of the way gone because Summer can not be trusted with food she is an eating machine.
Go to eat both girls decided they have to GO Ryan takes them and stands guard in front of the girls room.
I here Millie screaming all the way at our table...
I run to check on her, lets just say her stomach was upset.
Clean her up back to take second bite of food...
I gave up
 ordered the girls dessert because really they had been good...
 came home
declared we are hermits till our kids turn 18 every last one of them!!!!

A little complaining

Mastitis 1 Becky 0

What a horrible problem to have...

I hope to never have it again

My fever broke last night

I cried like a baby

I am tired

My kids all have colds

They have coughs

and snot

How is my favorite time of year my least as well

I like all the curriculum I bought

Except science

I was excited about science

now I am returning that book.

No lesson plans no teachers book

and unreasonable projects

Lets be honest I am not going to electrically rig up a hot house

Grow my own herbs

dry the herbs

and make my own soap with the dried herbs

THE FIRST WEEK

I will plant herbs outside

I will kill the herbs

I will buy dried herbs

I will buy herbal soap

All for week one...

So back on the hunt for a science that works for us!!

Week 1

It is a quite Saturday morning I have the house open and Ryan took the kids with him. Its actually the first time I've had a moment to reflect on all that has happened this week.

I brought Summer home.......... to school.

What has happened around here is amazing almost instantly my house turned into one of the most amazing learning centers. Summer is enjoying the change in learning she works hard to earn her 10-15 minute breaks which can be used however you want to. Summer uses it for a quick trip outside, she climbs trees swings and then happily hops back in after being called once to continue on with her work. Millie whom I was not planning on "teaching" vocalized her need and want for her own books and in the first week has mastered recognizing and writng her name the number 0, A and a. she also recognizes all the letters and numbers but we are working on writing them. She finishes worksheet after worksheet asking for more, we bought her a dry earse board to save some trees because she loves to work.

It was not all easy but it was good.

I'll take good anyday.

Today is saturday and Ryan and the girls are building their own outdoor messy table. This year we are studing Botany in science and this messy table is going to be where most of our "experiments" take place along with alot of messy fun!

PEACE

Little Guy

 That is what Emmett is not! He is looong and skinny! At 2 months he is growing out of 3-6 month clothing....say what? yeah you heard me..... crazy guy! He is still by far the easiest baby I have ever seen, he is laid back and easy going.

(I made the hat!!!)

He has started smiling and trying to laugh. He follows the girls around the room with his eyes! He is known by everyone as the LOUD tooting baby (what can I say momma loves garlic)

Last night much to my unhappiness he slept through the night.

I know I will not get these days back and they are slipping through my fingers...

I LOVE when Ryan calls him "E" man i do not know if its daddys voice or the cute nickname but it makes Emmett smirk every time!

Some how this past 2 months slipped by with out professional newborn pictures, now he no longer looks like a newborn (insert sigh of regret)

PS I am still not getting these boy parts I have been peed on sooo many times but yesterday Ryan was getting Emmett out of the shower and Emmett pooped on his foot I cried I laughed so hard, I love me a lil man with a sense of humor!!

Air Force Marathon

At this very moment Ryan is running, this is the first race he does not have either me or the girls cheering for him. The first time I have no up dates on how he is doing. I've searched all morning for some kind of live update. there are none. These runs are not leasure runs I know Ryan pushes his body to the limit I have more than once watched him finish then have his legs give out, seen the blisters on his feet, and even his skin bleed from irritation.I've held my breathe hearing an elite runner has passed out praying to God it was not Ryan, Ive cried to find out it was the son of the women next to me. I cry every time he finishes a race, the tears some mixture of relief, pride, and love. BUT this morning they are from sadness I pray someone is there to help if Ryan needs it, counting down the minutes till I receive a phone call. GO RYAN !!!!!!!!!!!i think he heard that ;)

 here is a clip of last years marathon you can see Ryan walking in the beginning of it then warming up all in black and the towards the left side during the start of the race in a bright blue shirt.

Food changes...

So here I've made some MAJOR food changes.

I have been making meals and freezing them...

Basic meals revolving around veggies... and one meat that can be used in small portions for several meals making the veggies the main ingredient not the meat!

Butternut squash and sausage bake
Vegetable fajitas
Bean chili (made from dried beans)
stuffed banana peppers (stuffed with cream cheese and sausage)
Grilled peppers and onions with Italian Sausage
pizza

anyways you get the point... but wow has it cut back or grocery bill!

using oatmeal not the sugar filled packets
dried beans
making my own pizza crust

I know what you are thinking WOW IS SHE SLOW we were doing this ages ago...

yep I am slow!!! but i cut back my grocery bill over $100 dollars this month!! ( i have meals frozen for the rest of the month. We eat out Sundays after church. Mondays we eat pizza because the local pizza joint has pizza free for military or if we are tired I make it at home. Wensdays are busy so I make ahead sandwiches or soup to eat before heading to church)

Next on my list is freezer muffins..

here are a few Millie and I are gonna try

Zucchini muffins
pumpkin muffins
Mollasses brown sugar muffins
corn bread sausage and banana pepper muffins
pizza muffins

If you can not tell I am excited about how easy this change was!!!

taking a break from school....

TEACHING- youth on Wednesday nights

GETTING small amounts of sleep

WORKING on keeping the house clean
HANGING- with a new friend from church

SOAKING- in the cooler weather

RESEARCHING- forensics, math, historical methods
SINGING - kids bop

LISTENING - to lots of whining
PLAYING- scrabble
PRAYING - for my relationships

SAVING- to travel, home, to Israel etc..
BAKING- pumpkin goodness

PLANNING- to be in DC for thanksgiving  

SEEING - The ocean during and after a tropical storm

WATCHING- my children grow way to fast
WISHING- for answers on Ryan's eyes

LOOKING forward to the holidays and time with family

HAVING trouble fitting in any cloths

STARTING to run again

THANKING Jesus



Speak to me

Speak to me…

Just to document it right this moment it is perfectly quiet in my home…… sweet silence.

Pastor Jim has been preaching on the 10 commandments. One commandment a week, this week was Honor your father and mother. WOW did this take a BIG twist the sermon went on to explain how it was our responsibility to raise children that know how to follow this commandment (or really all of them).

This sermon was God speaking to me.

I’ve had a hard mom week.

I have wanted to give up

I’ve wanted to run.

I’ve wanted to give in.

This sermon reminded me that I cannot this is my responsibility that I have to choose my children; I need to put raising them in a God-ly manner first.

I need to be intentional.

INTENTIONAL with my children

With my relationships with them

The words I speak to them

My actions around them.

The pastor did mention seven ways to honor your parents…

Obedience

Assistance

Respect

Thanksgiving

Listening

Integrity

Love

IF I want my children to have these qualities I must also have them.

This morning there were tears lots of tears but God spoke to me and I was listening now to apply it to my life.

My goals this week….. less tv….

To run twice with SUMMER

To have a play date for MILLIE and bake a cake with her. (She loves to bake)

EMMETT is pretty easy right now but to have patience and cuddle him!!

Ill let you know how it goes

ADJUSTING!!!!!!!!

Emmett is a little wierd. he doesnt cry to be picked up he cries to be put down ....flat on the floor.

The girls are adjusting slowly but surely!!!

Today Summer goes to meet her teacher, she starts on monday.

Millie is staying home with me this year, she was upset until we bought school supplies and books for the house. She is now SUPER excited!

I decided to take 4 classes this semester and 2 next. Making me a full time student for at least one of the semesters which brings in a little extra income for our family.

I am taking the math class face to face! That was fun going to campus to buy my books and find my classroom with my 3 children in tow while 18 year old overly excited freshmen were being dropped off by overly emotional parents looked at us in horror. I felt like Van Wilder.

It got better when in the bookstore Emmett started tooting loudly and at the same time Millie started yelling she had to go potty.. oh the joys of motherhood!

Maybe adjusting was not the right word coping may be a better one.

Scared

As i sit here typing with one hand I am not at all afraid to say... "I AM SCARED" I am registering for school and it is going to be a tough semester. I have a new baby and a 3 year old who needs me almost just as much and a 7 year old that loves after school activities.. but its the classes themselves that scare me. They aren't easy and I need 6 to graduate... so i can either take 3 this semester and 3 next or all this semester and graduate at Christmas... before i was in no hurry, now it may be in the best interest of my family to be done ASAP.

Here are the classes...

hist 465 world war II
Forensic Biology
College Algebra
Historical methodology
current American history
historical research thesis course

I need to make a decision soon. Like today but I am scared.....

lots of books!!!!

Well I have a feeling with this new baby my "book of the month" might become book of the "day".

I just finished CHASING EDEN by SL LINNEA and BK SHERER.I choose this book from a reading list of a blog I frequent http://life.yourway.net/.  I have to say this book was written with me in mind. It is a easy going fiction thriller/mystery/romance that involves the US military invasion of Iraq/ the looting of the Baghdad Museum/ history and archaeology and the Bible. There were times that i was lost it was not until close to the end of the book I was comfortable with all the characters and their roles in the story but what I thought was confusion for most of the book was actually part of the mystery side of the book. This book is part of a trilogy so I am done with the review because it is taking time from reading the 2nd book BEYOND EDEN ;) I'll let you know what I think about the series after I'm done!!!!!

little tidbits

I've learned with my 3rd child...........

• Everything gets recalled (literally our crib our bassinet our playpen)
• A umbilical cord and a front carrier DO NOT mix. (bad mommy moment)
• Boys can pee EVERYWHERE (it takes one time of Millie getting peed on and she finally backs up)
• Silence is bliss and worth waking up before the sun rises
• I do have time. By this I mean its okay to put the baby down for a shower everyone will feel better after.
• Baby monitors are great unless baby is sleeping with dad then all you hear is dad.
• Let the baby sleep where ever he or she wants as long as they are sleeping... I had guilt over this with my other 2, Summer slept in the car alot i just reclined my seat and slept too, Millie slept ON Ryan.
• Nursing isn't just a choice but a HUGE commitment... Even when its easy it limits you and when its hard well Holly and Mellisa saw me during that time and Sam lets just say take my worst day and add a screaming baby and mommy... 
• The TV is a babysitter for the older ones, and I have NO shame in using it.
• Lower your expectations for outings, we go completely okay with leaving mid-trip (this is actually not new but leftover from the CRAZY days of Summer being a toddler just revisited with 3 kids)
• this time I have 1/2 the clothes I did with the girls and I am just as happy if not happier! 5 outfits and 4 sleepers I do a small load of laundry every other day but it takes me 2 minutes to fold laundry instead of 20 minutes!!!
• just roll with it, nothing is worth stressing over. Not formula vs breast milk, not where they sleep, not immunizations, no circumcision. Yes research make a choice based on whats best for you then STOP and don't compare your choice with someone elses... ( I learned this in Nebraska where I had so many friends and we all parented different and the judgement was at a minimum as long as the kids survived a play date we could still be friends ;)

okay i'm done just wanted to remember the thoughts I was having over my cup of tea!!!

Welcome....

                          Emmett Ryan Dotson

Emmett joined our family July 25 he was the smallest of the kids so far weighing 7 lbs 9 oz but was 21 inches long. 

Emmett is sooo laid back. He fits in the family well never complaining about our busy schedule.

He is a easy nurser and is already on a good schedule.

He likes to poop at least 12 times a day if not more, and as if to say "YES I am a BOY in a house full of girls"  it is never a quiet ordeal. This makes Ryan smile every time!

He sleeps very well waking up every 4 hours to eat which gives me plenty of sleep!!!

Emmett sneezes all the time always in twos, he gets pretty ticked when this happens!

The girls are adjusting.

They are struggling with their new roles.

I hope things calm down when school starts and we get in a routine again!!!

They do like to help!!!

Which is pretty awesome they like to put his laundry in the dirty clothes and diapers in the trash.

We just said goodbye to the last of our company, its hard to see family leave when we miss them soo much and it so special for them to celebrate our new son with us. Hopefully we see more of  them again soon....

God is .....

Good!

Last night sitting across the table from Ryan I looked up and realized how good God is. It was Saturday night, and he was sitting across from me doing an old lady puzzle. We had been bantering back and forth for almost an hour listening to our kids who were supposed to be sleeping thinking they were being sneaky.



Then BAM God is good!

 He gave me the perfect husband (well perfect as in we work well together). I realize I have never given God thanks for this man who loves me and provides for me.

Ryan is the most driven person I know, what he has accomplished in such a short amount of time is amazing! 3 or 4 associates, 1 bacheaolors degree, working away at his masters, over 10 marathons or 1/2 marthons, he has recieved several military awards in 6 years.

All this means nothing compared to the kind of father he is to our children. Even after working 12 hour shifts training for 2 hours he still takes the kids on bike rides or to the pool when most men would be dropping from exhaustion Ryan kicks in another gear. Then on a Saturday night he will slow down and do puzzles with me because I am tired and exhausted and still want to do something so a puzzle it is!

Thank you God for Ryan, he is such a blessing and I have You to thank for him.

NOT YET..........

I went to the DR. yesterday and she actually acted surprised that for the 2nd time I was officially not progressing at all I am a 0 and very high...

 I like my DR. but it frustrated me she was soooooo surprised, I have only been telling her that I did the same thing with both girls.

 Anyways I was told that I would schedule my induction yesterday but my lack of progression made even an induction a risk. (yeah Ive heard that before too) BUT i am going in Monday to get rechecked and to in her words reevaluate the situation.

oh and i took that stupid ticker down!!! i actually hated that thing!!!

AND i am not liking the summer here pregnant it is hot and humid, I swell up in a heart beat and get overly exhausted very quickly. SOOOO I have been living in denial !!!

I closed the curtains
turned down the AC
Lite a pumpkin candle
Ate a harvest granola bar
Made turkey, stuffing and green bean casserole...

I think next week I'll turn down the AC even more and bust out the Christmas tree and prime rib!! I LOVE living in denial!!!

Priceless

I just finished PRICELESS: A NOVEL ON THE EDGE OF THE WORLD By TOM DAVIS. I choose this book because Holly loaned it to me ages ago and I figured she might want it back sometime ;)

WOW. It seems like almost all I can say right now. The book itself is written very well, I usually struggle with Christian fiction, not with this book. I could not put it down I would say the author is very talented! It is a fiction book written based on truth and to bring light to a BIG problem.

The book throws you into the sex traffic world in this case based out of Russia. Now here is the question "Did I like it" NO. To be honest I hated it. I hate that it is based on something so real. I hate the adventure and drama that had me turning pages quicker than any other book I've read is actually a little girls life. I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate..... (i think you get the picture)

That being said READ IT NOW, I'll be reading the other books written by this author like I said I think he is incredibly talented. (and just in case you did not get it, I did "like" the book.)  

Summer at 7

Happy birthday Summer!!!

Summer is bloosming into a BIG girl... It is frankly scarey. Here is a little about Summer!



Summer is moving from being athletic to being an athlete, this past year she has learned what it means to be part of something bigger.



She placed 3rd in a karate tournement long jump competetion.

She played catcher for a coach pitch team where she was the youngest and smallest!

Summer has lost 2 teeth (its a big accomplishment for her)

Summer LOVES church, VBS and anything else that has to do with God!


She has finally started to cry.... and it actually breaks my heart and makes me proud but when she "lets someone down" it hurts her heart.



Summer jumped 2 grade levels in 6 months in reading this year when her teacher set a goal for her!!!

She still is the healthiest, happiest, most beautiful Summer outside, wether is battling some killer waves on her boogie board, swinging from the monkey bars or hiking/biking with the family.

Here is just a little story that I think explains Summers change in heart this year,....

I was talking openly with Ryan how this could very well be my last pregnancy Summer walked in on the conversation and Ryan and I look over to see tears running down her face, when asked what was wrong she said

" This just can't be it, our family isn't full yet we still have plenty of room for more brothers and sisters."

Summer,

Yes, my big girl we still have plenty of room for more brothers and sisters and I am so proud you want to share us with them. Your love of life shines no matter where we go, I am proud at your effort in every part of your life!!! I know I can always count on you to give 100% in living and loving! Your daddy and I could not be more proud of the BIG girl you are becoming and are excited to grow with you!!!!

Love,

One proud Mommy

 

 Summer and I at 1 year old!!!!!

36 weeks....

and its wearing on me, and on my family.

No matter how much i try not to let the pregnancy effect our lives it does.

The kids are stressed, waiting for the arrival of their new sibling is very stressful when you have no clue who is going to watch you during the big event. Millie has a viral infection that has given her a painful rash. Summer is curious about the birthing process and is very hurt she will not be there for it.

Ryan is stressed, he doesn't sleep well because I am up several times a night, also his pay is messed up and no one seems to know why or how and its been months and a large percentage not being paid draining our savings and his patience, he is working evenings in an area about 1 1/2 hours away with little to no cell service once again stressful.

I am stressed by the distance away Ryan is working because we are 45 minutes from the hospital and I am probably going to have drive myself there if I go into labor while he is working. The heartburn stinks and I am gaining more weight than I wanted making any eating a guilty affair. I am however staying active water aerobics 3 times a week went on the youth weekend retreat and taught at VBS last week, still taking summer to all her activities and attending youth group.

I do have hope, hope that my body will go into labor on its own. That on my 3rd child I will feel what a contraction that is produced by my body and not my medication feels like. I pray this baby is the healthiest it can possibly be, that the decision I have made for our birth plan are the right ones.

I know that God is in control and knows when this baby is ready, but I do have say I would not mind if this one came a little early!

SOON, Soon, soon, soon, soon.....................................................

Summer Fun List activity 1

It seems kind of silly that I need a list to remember to have summer fun but after thinking about it I decided what a great reminder not to forget about the 2 big girls while preparing for this new baby.

This morning we got up early to go on a SEASHELL HUNT.

It was a major fail!
There was a storm last night and we couldn't find any....LOL

So they made the best of it...

Unfortunately I did not plan on the girls swimming so we had no towels.

Nothing checked off our list but still a FUN morning (all before 8:30)

(Ryan was home this morning)

To much!!!!

108 degrees with super high humidity and the UV index actually says "very high".

I am actually trying to get stuff accomplished but when it feels like this I work for 20 minutes and take 40 minutes to recover. The next person that tells me that I look miserable might get punched in the nose...... OK maybe not but I''ll definitely think really mean thoughts because in case you were wondering I am completely aware that I am "large, huge, gigantic, jumbo, and monstrous."

PS in case you were wondering the youth have no filter when it comes to telling me exactly how big they think I am, i have to do some deep breathing to not snap at there truly innocent comments. Or to YELL at them passionately how abstinence is the only true answer or they too will look like me (which is true just not the message I am there to give)

now I am going to go beach myself on the sofa with my 1/2 gallon jug of ice water!!!!

END RANT (for today!!)

Millie at 3

I really can not believe I am writing this but my baby is 3.

MIllies hair is still unruly, she loves to play board games and will play them for hours.
She still loves sweets!!!!!!!
She likes to play with trains and legos too.
 Her favorite shows are expanding she love Princess and the frog, Super why and Little Enstiens.
She can count in English and Korean.
She is becoming more social and LOVES to go spend time with her friends a church and the YMCA.
She loves to sing, God our father me love you and Me almost there.
Millie loves to bake and asks to make muffins whenever we have company.
Her favorite letter is M and W which she thinks is also an M.
She is counting down the days until she can go school.
She is still a rule follower and loves things to be clean and organized!
Millie dislikes sprinklers and the "wavey" beach. Or anything out of her control.
She likes to lay out and play quietly at the beach!
She tells ryan when the grass needs mowed or the trash takin out and tells me when the dishes need to be done or laundry folded.
When you ask Millie her name she says MillieDotson no pause in between!!!

Millie,

My love some how you will always be my baby! I know you want to be a big girl but I love that your are still my little girl! As i watch you grow I can not help but be excited for the woman you will become so kind and sensitive. Your humor amuses me. Your smile brightens my days! stay my sweet girl!

LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH,
Mommy

Baby update

If your reading this your probably can see the ticker on the side that says 30 weeks complete 70 days to go... Now is a good time to mention that I HATE that ticker how can I have such a LONG time left and such a SHORT time left. Some days 70 days feels like forever other days it feels like the date coming to quickly.

The baby itself is doing well!! The baby is measuring big, 2 weeks bigger to be exact. They thought this calculation was maybe off so they did another ultrasound with another DR. same results. So what does that mean right now nothing I keep letting the baby grow!!! What does it mean later, maybe inducing at 40 weeks instead of 42 weeks if needed this time or maybe nothing at all.

I am doing well, I have been very emotional this past week missing my friends very much. With new friends here wanting to celebrate the baby with me I often feel guilty for wishing I was with my "forever friends" The ones that know my likes and dislikes without asking the ones that I can cry for no reason with and that give me avocados for my birthday and have already seen me (actually most of me LOL!) trying to nurse and realize its not easy for me. I am so excited to celebrate this life growing inside me and am blessed to have people that want to celebrate with me but it is a bitter sweet time.

                                      Below is all the pregnant women from the Sunday school class at church!! 

RUN!

I just finished reading RUN! 26.2 STORIES OF BLISTERS AND BLISS by DEAN KARNAZES (an ultra-marathoner and adventurer which is as crazy as it sounds) Actually Ryan read this book first then passed it to me because it was so good. Well I could not agree more!!!!!

This book was so inspirational it made me want to run ultra-marathons, well until I realized I need help off the sofa right now maybe after the baby then! I have never read a book that so perfectly describe the emotional roller coaster running gives me. His mixture of antidotal stories and inspiring quotes gives the book a light hearted approach to an intense sport.

Plus I LOVE anyone who combines running with eating pizza and chocolate covered espresso beans. (For those who don’t know after trying to find an energy bar I liked I gave up and started eating chocolate chip cookies instead!!!)  

  I really want to spill the beans on all the good parts but I’ll let you read it. This is a must read for any athlete or semi-athlete!

 (HOLLY go get this book ASAP then call me and tell me what you think!!!)

Bad mommy

Ugghhh I had a BAD mommy moment.... did it happen at home in private behind closed doors? NO! It happened at Summers baseball game. Summer is playing catcher and she was not catching the balls on purpose because we had upset her in some way.

 For the past month we have been fighting a battle of wills with Summer's moods, it has been so bad I am actually scared for her to get any older I do not feel like I can everyday for the next 14 years. She gets angry and purposefully is disrespectful to the person who dared to cross her. I digress (kind of)...

Well today I lost it with her attitude and in front of two teams and over 50 people I told her that if she did not catch the ball I was taking her out of baseball. This would not have been so bad if the other people were aware she was not catching on purpose. Instead I looked like that mom the one who yells at her children during baseball games. One parent even kindly told me it was just a game and she was doing fine...

I told Ryan he has to take her the rest of the year because I do not want to show my face on the ball fields ever again....

I so have to say if we are keeping score Summer won that round....

Books

This book DESERT QUEEN by JANET WALLACH was amazing! I consider it a must read, this woman was really an amazing lady. Reading through the book was like tagging along with each wild adventure she had! By no means was she perfect and the book seems to show her faults as well as her attributes. In case you have not heard of her here is a little back ground written by me for a paper at school. BE NICE..

Gertrude Bell was born into an affluent family in Britain; rather intelligent, she was allowed schooling from a young age that most girls were denied during her time. She attended Oxford

and become one of the few women to obtain a degree. Her passion seemed to be in history, language, and travel and fell in love with the Middle East. She learned Arabic and became one of the first women to travel across parts of what would later become Iraq. She befriended Bedouins and Sheiks, who offered her some protection traveling in a land that was known to be dangerous for outsiders. Throughout her travels, she observed the culture of various tribes and documented historic sites and even drew maps keeping all her experiences in journals that would later be published (Wallach).

Book of the ?????

I just read this book!!! I liked it cause it is totally were I am at right now!!! It is ORGANIZED SIMPLICITY by TSH Oxenreider!!!!! But I do have to say I wish I had borrowed it or at least bought the book instead of the e-book. I don't usually pay full price for a book actually I read so much I don't like to buy books but I REALLY wanted to read this one. I payed $9.99 for the e-book it was only worth it because that's were I am at right now if you are only kind of interested then borrow it!!! The e-book was just not tangible to me there are check list and print offs included and on my e-reader all i could to is pretend to "check" the items of... to me that is a big BOOOOO I needed the physical act of checking the box.

I would talk about it more but I am taking next semester off to have a baby and be able to love on that baby with all my heart and not half way in between massive amounts of homework! So I plan to work through the book page by page starting soon! So I am sure you will learn a lot more about it as I post!!

travel books

I love to travel and when I travel I love to read books based on where I am traveling usually both fiction and non-fiction. Today while I should have been doing my homework I ran across this website a wanted to share!

http://www.longitudebooks.com/

Take a look!!! It seems to be mostly non fiction but what a great place to start!! Let me know what you think!

Words of wisdom!

"They’re not cheap if you don’t need them in the first place."

IM IN LOVE!!!

Everyone knows when it comes to the Internet I am way behind the times... but just to show my excitement and new found hobby/love I wanted to share the website I found and ask for more like it....

http://simplemom.net/

IT IS LOVE I TELL YOU LOVE!!!!!

I am getting ready to tackle my five hotspots using her as a guide are you guys ready to see my dirty??
hold on to your seats more to come!!!

ohh yeah this is the link that started the madness.. LOVE
http://simplemom.net/the-things-you-dont-need-but-they-say-you-do-for-a-new-baby/

I really dont want to........

to do anything and of course its a busy week

midterms for me
finals for Ryan
dinner for friends
ultrasound
belt graduation
birthday party
leaving this weekend
and i am not feeling 100%
oh and Ryan's car broke down so i have to drive him to and from work

With all those things to do i don't feel like ........

                                                                  Dressing my daughter

Doing the dish

Making the beds....

the laundry

or cleaning up the floors that look like the beach has moved in........

maybe tomorrow

Lesson: its not about me

I finally did it, you may remember that for a new year’s resolution I wanted to be apart of a ministry at church. I have never done this before I have always been feed by the church but have never helped feed. I was waiting for the perfect job that reflected my personality my goals in life....my my .my my.....then sitting on the beach 2 weeks ago 2 youth asked me to volunteer because they needed some one....humm they.... not me.... but they......




So tonight extremely tired( i am pregnant okay) and weary about changing my schedule and my kids being up to late. I let the Lord lead me into the youth worship. I was blessed tonight, my eyes were open through HIM!!!!



To make it more exciting as I sat mixed in with the youth my husband joined me he was supposed to have to work and I had not asked him to come because it was my thing not his. But it was his!! I for the first time saw him serving and when it was over and my feet ached and my kids were going crazy and I had not seen him all day and he asked if he could stay and talk to the youth pastor about how to connect with the boys since he was the only male volunteer, there was no anger or hurt but joy to let him stay to watch him serve!



God amazes me!!!! I am ashamed at how much his love shocks me, it is like I never fully believe how much he loves us. Each time I am shown I am shocked.



Now for the first of many stories of unfiltered teenage conversation..... After worship, a teenage boy stopped me (I was shocked to be honest teenage boys scare me) Then he smiled a sweet smile only teenage boys manage to smile and in front of a large group of my peers asked " hey i know this is weird but are you like fat or pregnant. Me and the guys were all trying to figure it out" this was followed by complete silence of the adults in the lobby.... I assured him I was pregnant!! With no remorse he then asked "So is like that tall guy in there the dad?" I again assured him yes my husband was the father... then explained we had 2 other children..... The teenage boy ended the conversation with "Hey at least you have kids" and walked away... I am not sure what the last part meant and am going to send Ryan his direction to field any more questions but WOW... and that was just the first night!

Home......

Each move it gets harder to settle in and make it your HOME..... But its finally happened here! We have friends a church and a blooming social calender.

ME-We have had several playdates and I even had a girls night out.  I can even say I have a friend who just had a baby!! I also have a friend whose husband just left for 8 months and one whose husband will leave shortly... I am making dinner for the friend who just had a baby last week! I am in a bible study! I have been asked (by the youth) to start helping there and have plans to meet with the girls this friday I already meet some of them at the beach for the afternoon!! I also have volunteered to type out and e-mail the prayer request from our Sunday school.

Ryan- Is liking work and excited for the challenge that awaits. Ryan sees some of the guys from church  around base and even works with a couple. Its always nice to have some one you know to say hello to through out the week! He has played some flag football with the guys and is also settling in (especially next to his fire pit out back)

Summer- Is coming around more slowly this time,,, cautious is the word. She is doing well in karate and will move up belts next week!! School is doing so much better and she is learning so much. She loves church here and has a special friend in one of the older youth who is 15 or so that we hung out with at the beach. This week in childrens church the friend who is a worship leader for the kids sang using Summer's name she felt sooooo special!!! We have had a few playdates with friend and more to come!

Millie- She has blossomed here she has several friends and has been invited to many playdates and birthday parties. She talks about her friends often and knows they will be at church on sundays and at bible study on monday and playdates on friday she loves those days. My little shy caterpillar has turned into a butterfly!!


So yes we are HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel the need.....

to get ready for this baby. Mind you I am fully aware that I have 24 weeks till this baby will even think about making an appearance... I also don't want to go overboard this is my third and I am fully aware that i do not need wipe warmers, frilly dresses, and every bounce/swing/baby toy out there... tummy time mats can be blankets they all get spit up on the same its how they clean up that counts. So here are a few things I've decided to do to save money/junk from taking over my house.

• We are going to use the crib in our room... i never used my pack and play for either girl for anything other that storage. The bassinet was a good idea till it became apparent a rocking sleep area is horrible with wild siblings and a husband who enjoys co sleeping.
• No bath tub- didn't work not happening takes up too much room.
• Using Millies travel system, carrier, towels etc (good thing everything is neutral)
• Really that's it Crib/ car seat/ stroller/and the basics

SO here are something I have been looking at gdiapers combination cloth/disposable diapers that are biodegradable. I used them on millie for a while and loved them so gonna give them a try with this baby. they will not end up being more cost effective about the same unless i choose to primarily use cloth inserts but I can compost the disposable ones and save some thousands diapers from going to the landfill and I already have a compost heap!! (not the poopy ones they go in the trash not compostable) But still!!!!!

Now to stop the overpowering urge to put the crib together next to my bed today.....

I know part of this is because I am have to schedule my 20 week ultrasound soon and its stressful because we don't find out the sex and everybody ask about it.... (like the instant gratification wouldn't be nice but I really like to wait... its just getting past THAT appointment.)

Journey of the Jihadist and a little extra....

An instructor explained to me in a past humanities class while we were studying myth and culture that everyone in the world views themselves and others through sunglasses with special prescriptions. As an example my prescription would be….


American/women/military/Christian/semi-liberal/Academic

Ryan’s might be

American/male/family-based/Christian/semi-conservative/professional

These are in no order and by all means don’t include our whole “prescription”

The teacher went on to say that view anyone besides ourselves especially other cultures you have to slowly, because it is difficult and never fully effective, remove our “prescriptions” and look at them with completely clear eyes. Even that doesn’t always give the most effective view sometimes adding some of their “prescription” to your glasses helps you understand their thoughts and beliefs better.

(Disclaimer removing the sunglasses is not removing your beliefs rather looking at a situation with the understanding that everyone doesn’t have the same understanding/knowledge/beliefs you do. Hope this makes sense)

Wow that was a long description to led to my thoughts on the book that let me borrow a different pair of sunglasses for a little while...



JOURNEY OF THE JIHADIST by FAWAZ A. GERGES

If you want a book that allows you do look at the rise and progression of the jihadist movements through the Muslim world this book is it. Rather dry at times and it was hard to keep everything straight because of my lack of knowledge of the various Islamic movements that have occurred over the past 60 years. The author a Christian Lebanese/ American shows the movement from not only his view but also that of Muslim men from many countries that in one way or another had ties to the Jihadist movement. He speaks with Hezbollah, Taliban, Al Qaida ETC… I think he showed other views without being overly sympathetic keeping the writing fairly academic on a subject that its full of emotion for everyone involved.

Book of the .........

Week...... Month or somewhere in between!

I read a LOT of books

I like some and some I don't..

I relate with some and some I don't

I agree with some and some I don't

After having a couple friends read the same books

 and enjoyed their opinions on the subject/book/whatever

I decided to put the ones i read on here

 but remember i choose randomly and usually by no rhyme or reason 

                                                          

read them if you want or don't

comment if you want or don't

I picked up this book for free at a garage sale the spine had never been cracked. I just started it today....I don't know what to think yet......

Mothers Milk

When I nursed Millie I also pumped, it was rewarding to me. I loved watching the freezer fill up with the milk that would one day be Millie’s but it never was she never took a bottle, nursed until she was ready to be done and was done. Well I threw over 100 ounces of milk in the trash.I decided that was not happening again. I want to donate it next time. (If I am blessed with extra) So I am researching International Breast Milk Donation. I am super excited and hope that this is an option for our family.


http://www.breastmilkproject.org/


Here is a beautiful story about a woman donating her milk after a tragedy

http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Milk-Banks-Donating-Breast-Milk-to-Save-Babies/1



Where it is not possible for the biological mother to breastfeed, the first alternative, if available, should be the use of human breast milk from other sources. Human milk banks should be made available in appropriate situations."



World Health Organization/United Nations Children's Fund

Nothing

Today I have accomplished absolutely nothing.
I've..........

Laid on the sofa
laid on the ground
Eaten
Laid on the sofa
Laid on the ground
called my school
got given the run around
Laid on the sofa
Laid on the ground

Not my best day.....

Mulan and Romona

Summer is going through an awkward phase, one that reminds me of Romona the pest and Mulan.

She relates more to the boys but has been rejected from that group because she is a girl and rejected by the girls for being Summer. I don't even know how to describe it but she lacks the Summer "glow" now. She seems serious and will crumble into tears and not talk to us if we push her on the subject. She does regain her Summer Glow in karate class where she is not mocked or rejected for her abilities. I thank God that her teacher is a women and I can see Summer watching her trying to figure out how she is a girl and a natural athlete that can take almost any boy. Ryan and I have been trying to help by paying more attention to her holding her more and kissing her more. I really am clueless on what else to do..

This song reminds me what I see when I look into Summers eyes....

Reflection

Who is that girl I see?

Staring straight,

Back at me.

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

I am now,

In a world

Where I have to hide in my heart,

and what I believe in.

But somehow,

I will show the world what's inside my heart,

And be loved for who I am.

Who is that girl I see,

staring straight

back at me?

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

I love you Summer for who you are and the girl you are growing to. We are so proud of you and hope you continue to Glow for us!!!

New Years!!!!

I decided to set a few goals for the New Year Last year I did this and it worked out well so I am excited to do it again.

500 mile year- this includes elliptical workouts while pregnant but not after. (2 down already)

Finish school- I wanted to be lazy and take a semester off or 2 but it was just me being lazy.

Become active in a ministry at church- Its time beyond time, praying and can't wait to see were this leads.

Expand our family!

What are yours???