Contentment

Contentment- this is my BIGGEST struggle

Contentment in finances
Contentment in relationships
Contentment in possessions
Contentment in location

The list goes on

My discontentment leads to feelings....

self pity
doubt
fear
anger
jealousy

Which leads to horrible actions....

gossiping
judging
hurtful words
coveting

The cycle itself is repetitious .
Some of these things I struggle with on a daily bases.
Others only occasionally like when the money gets a little low.

Right now I am being bombarded with all these at once.
I hurts to realize that I am not as mature as I thought I was.
That when I least expect it they can take over my thoughts.

I have to step back and think about what I ACTUALLY want out of life.....

Do I want to be the most liked youth leader (ohh yeah its that petty and gets worse)
NO!

The most expensively dressed and flawlessly beautiful woman in my group....
NO!

Do I want the prettiest cleanest house...
NO!

I do want...
Deep meaningful relationships
Healthy happy children
Close relationships with my distant family
A healthy body that allows me to keep up with my family....

I need to refocus....
my life shades have some major smudges on them


I read this today and loved it (funny how these things pop up when you need them the most)
http://reluctantentertainer.com/2011/10/how-to-find-contentment/