Anniversary thoughts

I wanted to do a Tennessee post but all i learned about myself there is overwhelming so I'll just mention a few things that pop up as I go through life here.

I was not a very good wife. It is something I have always struggled with, not wanting to give to much so if he took his love away I would hurt less.

I would choose the restaurant everytime...

I would always take the best looking Cinnamon roll for myself....

okay you get my drift.... (I also know that I was a good wife in other ways)

But it pressed on my heart that Ryan has given alot in our relationship and it was not fair for me to hold on to an escape plan. Especially when I do not want to escape.

I have been trying to be more mindful, doing things that are not expected of me.

I have been making lunch and breakfast for him to take to work. He uses his lunch to workout when he actually gets a lunch so he was going without lunch.

Funny how that small act makes me feel better every morning. I hope that I keep my heart open to more small ways to "love him more" in the future.


so TN LESSON #1 Be a less selfish wife

home sweet home

I have internet again!!!! We are here and settling in. My House is slowly being pieced together.
I finally am beginning to feel normal again!
I joined a gym called kokfit club.
The girls are enrolled in gymnastics. Millie with 4 year olds like herself. Summer with other homeschoolers of all ages.
Summer will start softball this spring and Millie will be conquering a swim class.
Here are some pics of downstairs. Think one long room divided at about 1/3 of the way by a fire place. The exterior wall is 90% sliding glass doors. (no pics of upstairs it looks BAD;)

We are slowly easing back into school
 Getting in a routine.
Completely changed our schedule to see Ryan, so the kids bed time went from 730 to 9 and we now sleep till 7 instead of 430 or 5. It has done wonders for my insomnia we still get ready for bed at 730 but we light a fire and watch a movie cuddling a just being together!! I thought i was giving up my quiet time but really everyone else is just joining me and it works!!