why........

Its days like today I don’t understand……. I don’t understand why I feel this way. I look around the house and I see everything as the enemy. Towels aren’t used to clean they are there to make more laundry for me. Toys, ha, they aren’t for entertainment their sole purpose is to live on the floor and for me to pick them up constantly. Pillows, books, shoes, movies, meals, bath time, even sleep are just things that happen to create more work for me.


Everything is a fight on days like today, breakfast was a fight, and lunch was a fight, nap time a fight. I rack my brain to make these times go smoother and the only thing I can come up with involves a nanny I will never be able to afford. Even now the girls are in their room playing, giving me a second to breathe and all I can think with every noise I hear is the mess that will be there when I’m done.

The girls are pushing me and I am trying to stand my ground which means every idea for this week has gotten canceled because of bad behavior. The restaurants I wanted to eat at, time at the pool, and even a trip to the museum all canceled. Which means I am stuck, stuck in this house which is way too small and way too loud… I don’t understand why I feel this way…..