Before Pictures
Our plans to spend the last of our free time relaxing on the beach has been cancelled.
I was thinking how those were the memories I want to keep of Florida.
Before Pictures
The boat ride ended 30 minutes later in a pool of blood as we rushed to the ER.
Summer was running along an undeveloped island in the waves and sliced her foot open very deep.
After practicing my rusty buddy care knowledge from basic we bandaged her up with pieces of Ryan's shirt. Swam back to the boat and started to rush towards shore.
Then we hit the wake of another boat and Millie slammed her face into the side of the boat. She ended up with a huge knot on her head and both nostrils bleeding.
5 hours in the ER later, we realize Emmett had slept through lunch then all chaos happened and he had not eaten since breakfast, Ryan was shirtless because we ripped it up for Summer. I was in a bathing suit and our kids were bruised and battered.
Summers only cried when the Doctor explained her soccer season was over. Millie only cried when she realized Summer was getting stitches. Those are 2 tough girls!!!
After Pictures
I also have been struggling to find any depth in myself.
Some meaningful words to say to friends.
Tears for the friends I will miss.
Laughter over our time here.
I have nothing.
I am not happy
I am not sad
I can't laugh
I can't cry.
I know it will come and probably once we are gone...
But every time we move I can not help but wonder..... am I a robot?
Where do my feelings go during a move?
Why do i watch tears of friends with none in return?
2 comments:
Oh my GOSH!! Don't you love it when life shows up and foils our lovely plans?!?! Dang, talk about a bust!! Glad everyone is okay though. (I will admit that after I heard everyone was okay and no one lost any limbs or had to have blood transfusions...I laughed...only a little. :~) )
And you are not a robot. That happens to me every time we move. It's like I forget to grieve, because my mind is so jumbled with moving stuff, I tell myself I don't have time to cry, and that I will let it all sink in after we leave. But then after we've left and got somewhere else, I get caught up in the newness and busyness of "settling" that I just kind of skip the "grieving those I left behind" phase. I tried not to let that happen this time. I tried to let myself feel and take a moment to cry even if it was at home later, or in the shower.
But, give yourself some grace. If it it doesn't "happen" while you're there it's okay. It doesn't mean you're a robot. A cold hearted friend? Perhaps! Bah ha ha! I'm just kidding! I love you. :~)
Praying for your move!!!
agreed...you're not a robot...I'm the same way.
Your tears/depth will come, they will.
and OH MY GOSH! what a DAY! I have nothing else to say except kuddos to you for taking a picture of everyone in the ER...that is hilarious!
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